Conflict at Work

“Speak your mind but ride a fast horse.” Cowboy Wisdom

Forty years ago, a neighbor’s bull was getting on my ranch. While visiting, he (the bull – not the neighbor) sowed his wild oats. I am sure he was having a great time, but we were raising only registered stock so it was a major problem. Of course, the neighbor claimed that the fence belonged to us, and it was our problem. So we held a meeting (sitting on a tailgate) to decide the matter for the last time. We came away with an agreement that both sides would pitch in to build a new, sturdier fence. We no longer had a handsome stranger dating our cattle, the neighbor no longer had to search for his bull, and both parties could brag about the new fence.

Conflict on the ranch will usually arise from surrounding landowners or people wanting input on what you do in and around your land. The only way to deal with this is eyeball to eyeball. That is, no emails, no talking to others, no hiding from the dispute. Get it out, have it out, and be done with it. Otherwise, it festers into a real problem that will cause you to lose focus of your goals. Usually, the one with the most passion wins. As with most things, this is not always bad and can result in improvements or compromises. Conflict at work is no different.

Numerous articles have been written about avoiding or reducing conflict in the workplace. I suspect people with low self-esteem and little confidence wrote these articles. I would also bet the ranch that they usually lose their arguments (see the chapter on arguing).

Embrace conflict as a healthy environment. Conflict shows a passion for the processes, systems, policies, workflow, and, ultimately, the bottom line. If you owned your own company, wouldn’t you want passionate people involved?

Conflict is at the heart of life. Pick up any fictional novel, and you’ll see that conflict is at the center of the plot. Conflict makes life rich. Never discourage conflict in an organization. What was the last movie you watched? Did it contain conflict? How would the movie have been if you removed the conflict from the script? Conflict resolution is also important, albeit not as complicated as many think .

Arguing at Work

“There are two theories to arguin’ with a woman. Neither one works.” Cowboy Wisdom

The word ‘argue’ has negative connotations. We tend to think it means that emotions are flaring, voices are rising, and we are butting heads. The word doesn’t mean that at all. When we argue, we are simply trying to get something we want even, if it is as simple as getting our point across. The other person(s) is/are trying to keep us from it. A wise person will make sure that everyone gets what he wants or can live peacefully with the results.

Arguing is the art of disagreeing without being disagreeable. Arguing is a two-person dance. If both sides argue, we will achieve consensus or at least be able to live with the decision. Troubles arise when only side argues. In 1890, in the Gentle Art of Making Enemies, James Whistler stated, “I’m not arguing with you—I am telling you.” Whistler obviously had discovered a shortcut in making an enemy. Arguing (when performed correctly) does not create enemies. You create an enemy when you do not allow input and some form of consideration.........

What do you think?